The East Benders

After the morning I’ve had. Yes. (Taken with instagram)

Sun, 13 May 2012 12:40:08 -0400

After the morning I’ve had. Yes. (Taken with instagram)

The bay! (Taken with instagram)

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 17:28:24 -0400

The bay! (Taken with instagram)

Such a good band (Taken with instagram)

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:39:15 -0400

Such a good band (Taken with instagram)

Ouch! Don’t jump over a thorn bush (Taken with instagram)

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 22:37:25 -0400

Ouch! Don’t jump over a thorn bush (Taken with instagram)

artchipel: NEW on ARTchipel Cristina B (Switzerland) -...

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 13:44:55 -0400

artchipel:

NEW on ARTchipel

Cristina B (Switzerland) - Jellyfishes at the disco. Acrylic and pencil painting on canvas, 40” x 40”, original available here >

[Cristina B on ARTchipel.com]

How the gay’s view New York…take notes…

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 19:47:42 -0400

How the gay’s view New York…take notes…

Your highness...Darling!

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 19:09:36 -0400

A scandalous news report arose today from Birmingham Palace to New York. Every royal in England has a little dirty secret hidden under the rug but this morning, the exploitation of a new discovery has many of Kate Middleton’s infatuates baffled. Apparently Kate and Pippa share a cousin who is notorious for her racy burlesque and peep shows. Quite the irony in this very ‘average’ family.

Raised in elegance and etiquette manner, Katrina Darling (as the Middleton’s cousin is called), was in stepping in line for the possible crowning of Dutchess of Cambridge but was confirmed this week to have been officially removed from the assembly by the Royal Institute and the church. Needless to say, this sultry dancer has moved on to a more archaic career—a sexy performance at our very own SoHo’s infamous cabaret, W.I.P. for Tuesday night’s Dropout Party with one theme in mind, “God Save The Queen”. Quite a catchy title. But just who is Katrina Darling ?

Here’s a snippet from The Daily Beast “Darling grew up in Sunderland, and confesses she was quite the party girl from a young age, attending various local clubs in her early teens. She’s been in a number of bands—as a singer and drummer—the last of which was, she says, “An ‘80s hair-metal-like cock-rock band called Dirty Tuppence—which means a girl’s bits in the U.K.” When she was 17, she caught a burlesque show and two weeks after her 18^th birthday, performed for the first time with a local burlesque troupe.” Darlingalso studied at Newcastle College majoring in Design and had a variety of odd jobs from make-up artistry to retail and has worked in a fetish club in Eidenburgh.

YouTube and MySpace music sensations have increased dramatically...

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 16:40:36 -0500

YouTube and MySpace music sensations have increased dramatically in the past few years. From Adele’s breakthrough with her first single “Hometown Glory” to Jessie J home studio recordings that leaked through out video-channels, music authentication can be found anywhere on the web. But a recent discovery of a brand new up and coming dance artist has just been brought to light. Meet NiRe’ AllDai (pronounced; nee-ray all-day).

The 20-something has best been described as a high reselation of Ke$ha and modular melodic music loops of Nicki Minaj. Although she is fresh and young in the music industry, she has dynamically remixed “Wobbly with rapper and dj “Sebastian” and has writting along side Starshell for her single “Superluva”. Do not take this artist lightly. On the 2 March 2012, AllDai released her debut single “Inside Out”, now available on iTunes. Her first single “STFU AND PARTY” brought popularity to the club scene in the autumn and since, has been sprouting throughout the country as a go-go, lunatic tune . AllDai’s is currently in the works of her first album which will release this year under Virgin Records .

Former Growing Pain’s actor and 80’s teen hearthrob...

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 16:37:14 -0500

Former Growing Pain’s actor and 80’s teen hearthrob Kirk Cameron is being placed on a skillet this week after a stormy interview with British anchor Piers Morgan on his view of Gay Marriage and Homosexuality.

The Christian activist galed brusque ciritcism on the topic of homosexuality. Cameron stated that it is “Unnatural, detrimental and ultimately destructive to foundations of civilization.” Piers also asked Cameron what his reaction would become if one of his six children were to come out to him. Cameron lamented “There are all sorts of issues that we have to russle through in life and just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean you have to act that certain way.”

The fiery interview opened a portal of outrage and disgust on Cameron. Celebrities who have worked closely with the religious artist torched their statements and opinions on Twitter from Kirk’s old world views. Tracey Gold, who played Kirk’s sister on Growing Pains tweeted “I am a strong supporter of the #LGBT Community, and I believe in equal rights for all. #NOH8 #LOVE”. Another Seaver family member, Alan Thicke tweeted “I’ll address kirk’s comments as soon as I recover from rush limbaugh’s.” and “I’m getting him some new books. The Old Testament simply can’t be expected to explain everything.” Openly gay Modern Family star, Jessie Tyler Fergeson tweeted “The only unnatural thing about me being gay is that I had a crush on Kirk Cameron until about 24 hours ago.”

Cameron has been married to former co-star Growing Pains actress, Chelsea Noble for 20 years and has crossed the country spreading his evangelical beliefs and has also starred and directed Christian films such as The Left Behind Series and Fireproof; a film about a family on the verge of destruction until it is ceased by the salvation of Christ.

xl

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 16:34:00 -0500

Just when you thought the flames of Hell’s Kitchen was enough to ablaze your nocturnality, there is one place that engulfs every inch of your soul and possesses your body in a beatific state. XL has fastened itself into the heart of every socialite and remains to build itself as the a go-to megaclub. If you are surrounded by talk and hype of this new venue and have not experienced the fire, you are missing out on a real treat.

Last night, Justin Luke hosted the one year anniversary of Gorgeous Gay 20-Something. Multitudes of youthful, attractive twenty bracketed men, covered the floors and cooridors of XL. Members and non-members recieved VIP-like treatment, open bars and the most top notched DJ’s around. Along with gay A-Listers, established Drag Queens, and fashion guru’s, the atmosphere filled with a rejuvinating sensation. Glam and Hedonism sizzlng on the dancefloor. Go-Go dancers like Jay Roth, accumlated the sexual spirit and ravaged the crowd. Quirky mode queen-boy, Christopher van Cleave, was cross-legged, working his charm in the VIP section. Not only did GG20 attract New Yorkers, New Jersey’s finest stepped out via bridge and tunnel and even Dutch celebs travelled to the US to join the fun. Why does this age bracket attract so many gay men ? There is a sexy, vivacious anecdote about this age that allures everyone to embrace it’s existance Perhaps it is the vulnerability. The softness. The naivness. Or perhaps its the danger. The scandal. The rebellious fixation that reminds us all that being 20 has perks and quirks. Getting away with what older men can’t. XL staples the essence of juvenescense. But don’t feel cut short. XL is for everyone. Whether you are a child in our community or a willow, you are welcomed with open arms in the dark eternal lantern of this swank club.

Is XL going head to head with it’s rivals Le Bain and Kiss & Fly ? The members-only club is certainly elevating recognition. On Wednesday, comedienne, Fran Drescher made a historical apearance at XL’s habitat, The OUT Hotel and wedded New York couple Tom Wahlen and Russell Kemp based on a competition they entered from TV Land that Fran commenced via her hysterical sitcom, Happily Divorced.

Are you sitting home contimplating plans of a fun filled night ? Look no further. There on W 42nd and 10th lies the answers to your doubt. Swing by to an unforgettable, circuit rivited night. Take a chance and experience yourself what you could be missing out. The flames haven’t died. It’s waiting for your presence.

The Old Gimp

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 19:31:12 -0500

Being gay is motley. If you believe you are a humble, charismatic and non-judgmental being, you are utterly lying to yourself. In our world, we are brutally critical, shamelessly self-centered, and in our darkest hour, insecure. What haunts you during the night ? What thoughts make you a bitch ? Is it the burden of not seeing your envisioned future you had planned out in your sophomore year of college ? Is it the hostility of keeping your finances in tact for another year ? Is it your non-existent sex life ? Or perhaps it’s the reflection you stare at in the mirror everyday. The young, sassy, confident twenty-something year old with full dark hair, sparkly eyes, and translucent skin is no longer in front of you. He’s been replaced by the real world and bares a man of wisdom, courage and strength that has taken a toll on his surface. Dark hair with streaks of silver, dimmed eyes and elusive skin.

Age is lethal among us gays (or so we like to believe it is). It’s the cause of insecurity, stress, and lack of self-motivation. The smoldering shades of twenty somethings that suffice the city remind us that youth is empowering. Beautiful. Eminent. Everything. Youth has the open expansion of creativity, invitation and leadership. If you are 30+ and reading this, it probably tasted like vinegar in your mouth. In this millennium, youth are exalted and age is accountable. This causes many men in their primes and mid years to develop a strong emotional amount of ageism among the younger gays. I can’t blame you. You deserve to feel scorned. The pyro of a half-naked, supple skinned, anglo-saxon, twink dancing to auto-tuned melodies in a $20 covered nightclub bring you anguish. Whatever happened to the days when gay men could just sit in a venue unabashed with an apple martini and play the life of the party without worrying if their black Italian pique polo is slimming them down ? Without feeling obligated to walk around a bar in a voyeuristic fashion ? Without feeling like a wallflower because a group of young, fresh socialites put on a full Beyoncé choreography in the middle of the floor ? I comprehend why ageism has absorbed many older gay men. We (youth) are obnoxious, immature, arrogant, heartless and unprepared. That, is all a stereotype just like how youth is powering.

I decided to write about this article one foggy, morning in a studio apartment at the Silver Towers overlooking Hell’s Kitchen. I could clearly see the rooftop of Midtown’s newest gay resort, “The Out”. Checking all 300 emails, I found a Facebook invitation to a closed group. The flashy, glittery advert I saw in front of me intrigued me. I wanted this. In bold lavished font “GORGEOUS GAY 20-SOMETHING” was lustful. A 20-something-members-only group dedicated to the most beautiful, attractive young men. No primes, no mid-years, no geezers. Simply young, flawless men. It’s every gay man’s fantasy. I’m honoured to have been invited. What I have a problem with is the title. “GORGEOUS GAY 20-SOMETHING”. Is there not any attractive older men ? Is that not a possibility ? As much as we are adored and are the older men’s future in innovation, why shall we place them in a grey area and praise a vane 20 year old ?

When I began dating, I also (unintentionally) dated international men. But what stood out from my father and I was, I dated older men. My first boyfriend was a 22 year old Belgian model. I was 18 years of age at the time. For a year and a half I was in love with a brilliant, educated, witty Walloon that swept me off my feet spontaneously. When our relationship was over, I moved on to a beautiful 27 year old Argentinian. Who swooned me over his intellect and appreciation of the arts. We lasted for a year. And over the summer of 2011, I met an average-joe, pale 37 year old Australian that won my heart and became my summer fling. Adventerous I became and completely savvy of my life. These blissful memories of these amazing men I shared my life and body with played in my mind like a Kate Winslet Sundance film.

I date older men because despite my twenty-one years of my existence, my mentality was aged like a forty-five year old East Coast corporate junkie. I love every bit of my intellect. It’s what seperates me from the average 20-something year old. And as I sat in that stone cold apartment facing Eleventh Ave, it dawned on me, I dated older men not only because of my old soul, but because what I fear the most is an older generations labeling me as a lost, sexualized 20-something year old in Manhattan. I am far from that stereotype, I am a grade-A, free spirited, confident, independent individual who sets his own rules in life. I laughed out loud and sipped my latté in that cold room realizing that I was a hypocrite. Pointing out ageists when you yourself are an ageist is the most revelating experience. I fear of sitting in the delirious youth box the same way an older man fears of sitting in the tired, old aging gimp box. Age is lethal. It knows how to play with our thoughts, resurrecting blissful youthful memories, and darting us with cruel dark memories of our present.

Perhaps that why Karl Lagerfeld hunts down East European 25 year old models as his play date. Dating a younger individual reminds you of what it is to feel young again but they also remind you of why you aren’t young again. They remind you of what you once had and what you lack now. They remind you of what you missed out in life and what you could still do but never will get the same gratification. The people in my life have always told me I was dangerous. I don’t carry a single trait that is threatening but now that I’ve understood the lingo, I realized I am very lethal. I am desirable but a burden of what you will never have again. I enjoy being dangerous. But I also despise how it holds me back from my inexperience. We can honestly draw conclusion that ageism will never be cured, but it should never be a javelin.

We must all realize, we will get older and be replaced by an energetic, high velocified young man. One day, we will feel the same burden our previous generation felt. It will be twice as hard, twice as frustrating and twice as miserable. Enjoying your youth is a gift. Taking it for granted is a demise. Our destinies are set in stone somewhere unknown but our actions are what lead to them. That’s a food for thought.

Here is a cute, perky way to learn French. Enjoy !

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 14:48:34 -0500

Here is a cute, perky way to learn French. Enjoy !

Bullying: A Growing Issue

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 21:12:00 -0500

Drew Sellitti

Violence and aggression are a common problem among youth in society today, not only in America, but also around the world. One of the most common ways that this frustration is expressed among youth is bullying. Bullying may have more media coverage today than in eras past, but it is nonetheless an age-old occurrence that leaves children in a position of having to deal with this abuse. In America, school bullying is a growing issue with violence in schools ranging from the traditional taking of lunch money that is aligned with decades of bullying, to the a more current form of bullying involving guns and other weapons that are being brought to school to terrorize other students. The definition of a bully is someone who uses physical or verbal aggression on something of a regular basis against other young people. Usually, bullies are found to be stronger, bigger, and more aggressive than their peers and victims. Most bullying is additionally committed by males. In todays world, bullying is a growing threat to the mental and physical well being of the youth. The act of bullying produces a negative climate for the individual students as well as the school as a whole. The act of bullying is not only physically and psychologically harmful to the victim, but it can also be damaging to the bullier as well. This

The person inflicting the emotional and physical pain is someone who needs to feel in control and “bigger” than the person being abused. What many fail to realize is that the bully may be someone who has been bullied or abused in the past and this is the only way this person knows how to express their feelings. This can be linked to any abusive behavior, for example, if a child is abused, then this in turn can result in them abusing their children in a similar manner. Bullying behaviors can be classified as either direct (such as teasing, threatening, hitting, or stealing) or indirect (such as rumor spreading or social isolation). These behaviors must occur on a repeated basis that spans over a decent amount of time in order to be considered bullying. The person who is the aggressor tends to defy authority and prey on those who can not defend themselves adequately, which is essentially someone who is smaller or weaker than the individual doing the bullying. This act of aggression towards others in a schooling environment is a growing issue. Recent bullying is escalating to more serious offenses rather than a simple school yard tiff. Many school shoots, such as Columbine, can be linked to bullying. These children are feeling victimized with no way out other than to not attend school or to result to violence. Constant fear of being bullied forces them to turn their attention away from their school work resulting in poor performance on the academic level. Their school attendance may begin to slip because why would any student want to go to school just to be beat up on.

There are several steps that institutions can take to deter bullying from becoming an issue. One step that could be taken is making students aware of what makes someone a bully. Some children may not realize that they are bullying a fellow classmate or that they themselves may be a victim of bullying. Also, students should be informed of the adults they can report bullying to. Many students may not feel comfortable discussing this with their parents and many schools have counselors who are meant to handle these kinds of situations. If these individuals know that there is someone that they can talk to, they may feel more empowered to stand up for themselves and their fellow classmates rather than allow the bullying to continue. For example, in my senior year of high school my friend Derek was bullied for being gay. Everyday he would get verbally abused by our classmates in school, but Derek was too afraid to speak to an adult about this because he felt disempowered. However, I felt that it was pertinent that this not continue due to the fact that this bullying had my friend thinking of suicide. This led me to report the actions to my principle, which led to the suspension of these boys. After the boys had returned from their suspension the teasing had stopped. Knowing who to turn to in a situation, like the one I faced, it was important to know where to go to stop the bullying.

Another way to prevent bullying from becoming an issue is not only to educate the children, but to also educate the adults. Many adults may not be properly trained to spot a bullier. In high school, I had an English teacher who would actually side with the students who tended to do the bullying. If a less popular student in my class was ridiculed for making a comment, the teacher would allow this to go on. It seemed that he was looking to be more of a friend instead of an authoritative figure. I don’t feel that he himself was trying to be a bully, but at times he made me and my fellow classmates feel uncomfortable with his comments and actions. For example, one day in class my friend had died her hair jet black and wore a short, but appropriate mini-skirt. The teacher made a comment which entailed telling the girl that her outfit resembled that of a hooker, which is clearly something a teacher should no say. It appeared as if he was trying to be our friend rather than our teacher. There has to be a clear authoritative figure otherwise the individuals who bully will feel as if they are in control. Also, harsher punishments for bullying is needed to deter this behavior. If someone is constantly belittling or physically abusing an individual steps need to be taken to stop this from happening. An after-school detention is not always the answer when it comes to stopping this cycle. In-school suspensions are a form of punishment that should be used more for those that bully. An out of school suspension is way to lenient because the student is essentially given a free day off from school. With an in-school suspension the student is still forced to come to school and do their school work, but with no social interaction with any of their friends or classmates. This is a form of isolation and is very affective in discouraging the negative behavior of bullying. Many of the victims of bullying do not report it to teachers or staff due to the fear of the harassment. If the student is being bullied for something like their nerdy behavior, reporting this bullying will only lead to more of the same. This discourages the student from taking the proper steps of reporting those that bully them. Many students are like my friend Derek, who did not want to report the bullying that he was facing due to the fear of only being harassed even more.
Bullying is becoming an all too common occurrence in the everyday life of children. This bullying does not only take place in the classroom, but also outside school as well. This behavior is seen in locker rooms and also on the sports field. Steps need to be taken to educate children on what bullying actually is, and adults on the proper steps to take to spot and eliminate a bullying situation. These steps can be taken to promote a more stable and safer educational environment for the children of today.

Am I Perfect Yet?

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 16:25:00 -0500

Body image is something that many people struggle with on a day to day basis. Constantly dissatisfied with yourself and never feeling good enough constantly plagues many of us on a daily basis. We hear all the time how women have this pressure to conform to this super model or “perfect” image. It is always discussed how this weighsheavily on the minds of young girls and causes them to have eating disorders and body confidence issues, but its noted that this scope is limited to women in general. However, many men, specifically gay me, have body confidence issues due to this constant underwear model image being presented to the public.

Personally, I have struggled with my self image for as long as I can remember. I was never the type of kid that had a six pack or could eat whatever I wanted. Drew, always the heavy set kid who could play lineman for a football team, but never the guy to take his shirt off. I have always wanted to be that perfect image, with that amazingly sculpted body, who got results from working out, but that never happened for me. Instead I just packed on the weight because food became a comfort for me. It helped distract me and relax me from my poor body image, but in the end it became my biggest enemy. In a matter of 6 months I ballooned from 220 pounds to 265 pounds, but I was surrounded by friends who constantly reassured me that I was ‘fine’ and that I was not ‘fat.’ However, the reality of the situation was that I was indeed heavy and it wasn’t healthy mentally or physically for me. I would literally cry at night because of the fact that I was heavy and not able to model in my underwear. Freshman year of college was a wake up call for me and I rapidly lost weight and was back to my previous weight of 220 pounds, but it still wasn’t good enough for me. At that time I was struggling with my sexuality as well as my self image and it was just an intense amount of struggle weighing on my mind. Even though I had lost weight I still didn’t feel good enough for myself, which in turn made me feel unlovable.

I kept loosing weight and eventually hit my lowest weight of 200 pounds and had finally come to terms with my sexuality. Being ‘Out’ for over a year now and down at my lowest weight of 200 pounds I am more comfortable with myself than ever, but still to this day I struggle with body image. I have the stretch marks to prove that weight has always been an issue in my life. I can never eat just what I want and not work out, I have never been comfortable in my own skin. There are a number of factors involved in the way I think, but the media and this societal belief that thin/muscular is beautiful has definitely played a role in creating my current thought processes.

Constantly being berated by men in their underwear on billboards and magazines, men are constantly reminded that they don’t look like that. Being a gay man, in my opinion, makes it even harder to be an overweight male. Most gay men go after a man who is ‘hot’ or has an ‘amazing body’ and this has become the norm. Attraction to someone is an important thing when determining if you would like the pursue anything further with them, but sometimes it feels like that is the only thing; No one seems to want to go beneath the surface. The media and the community has painted this image of perfection that many of us are constantly trying to achieve, and even those of you who claim you aren’t, you really are. Everyone wants to be beautiful; feel love; even if its a cheap thrill that is based entirely on your physical appearance, you’ll take it. In that moment you feel attractive, amazing, everything you wish you always felt.

There are a lot of us gay men out there who go to the gym, do yoga, play sports, hardly drink, watch their diet, don’t eat poorly, and still have trouble keeping the weight off. To all of you who read this and think this is just some fat guy ranting and raving, bashing on the muscular and physically fit guys; I’m not. Power to all of you who are gym rats and can get that perfect body, but there are those of us out there who try just as hard, but can’t get the same results.

We all have parts of us that we love and those that we want to change. Some of us put on a smile and give off this vibe of confidence, genuine or not. I try my best to be beautiful everyday; inside and out.

-Drew Sellitti

Congrats to Washington State!

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:28:45 -0500

Congrats to Washington State!:

Congratulations to Washington State for becoming the 7th state to allow gay marriage. One step closer to equality!

One that daily grind!

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:59:17 -0500

One that daily grind!

What happened with us ?

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:15:00 -0500

Distance

Distance is cringing. Length, time, seperation, space, minimalism. It’s baffling—deluding. Distance is horrid. Distance is appalling. Distance is what cultivates yearning. But the truth is, only one of us is heightening with weariness. I miss you, and I’ve dipped those words in our pond. You haven’t dipped your words yet. I waited effortlessly. I’ve wasted time. I’ve become agitated once again. I have fallen. Distance is what separates us.

Where are you ? What did you do last night ? What are you doing now ? The simplicity of my inquisition is rather lax. There is plenty of space to fill my benevolence. You used to shower it with sheer charisma. Now, you only contribute a brief dosage. Distance is what ages us.

I know you can’t pursue nothing further than what we are now. Can we return to the place we once resided ? The further we grow distant, the more I’ve become weary and hallow. I see you also have become melancholic. I reached out, and you gave me a short end. Why must I initiate ? If I stopped reaching out, you will let me slip in a deeper limbo.

This time, I’m slipping longer…and the more monochrome affection you dip in the purse of benevolence, the more weight anchors my soul. It’s time I let go. This isn’t going farther. I don’t think you are abashed of commitment. I think you are searching for something unknown. Whatever it is you are browsing for, I am pushed into a corner, and pulled into your centre when you are lonely.

Distance is all we have now. I will grow distant, and so will you. Far away from the lavished time we once spent. If you want to move forward, why are you holding on to me ? I’m letting go. You’re choice is to pull me back. The rope is loosening. You haven’t pulled me back. We are more distant, and I’ve grown accustomed to that.

Distance is our future. Forevermore

-Richard Guerroué

lavidagay: Dolce & gabbana gym collection 2012

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:19:42 -0500

lavidagay:

Dolce & gabbana gym collection 2012

Check out this spine chilling short film by Cartier. What would...

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 19:52:34 -0500

Check out this spine chilling short film by Cartier. What would you do for love ? Dive into the abyss of passion with music provided by Air and the bewitched young artist who unfolds his destiny through his painting.

Creating your stylish posse

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 16:52:00 -0500

In a city where fashion is the supremacy to the globe, looking chic is momentous. The power of style is robust and can be even more potent with a little entourage. Fashion posses has become a new trend in the Empire. Vast conglomerates of tight-knitted friends dressed intricately, can be seen anywhere in New York. Gracing the streets in their latest Gucci suits and loafers on the Upper East Side. Or exiting a posh boutique at the Meatpacking District in their Rad Hourani collection. These chic cells are everywhere. Inspired by mass media culture like Kanye West and his fashion posse and Gossip Girl’s Blaire Waldorf and her three minions, the trend has been long grass rooted since the original gang’s of New York stamped their attire on the cobbled stone streets of South Street Seaport. Fashion today has completely revolutionized and keeping up with new trends is a bit of a challange. Luckily if you have a set of equally style savvy friends, you can set your own rules in the cut throat world of fashion.

Starting a stylish posse can be a bit difficult. It inquires a united sense of acquired taste, communication, time, a budget and effort. In order to accomplish an avant-garde mantra, you must be willing to sacrifice some of your wardrobe and be willing to exchange and share your clothes with your best friends. If you are a bold individual who does not follow a crowd, then perhaps a posse isn’t what you need. It’s not for everyone. Some individuals like to embed their own expression through their wardrobe and do not want to be a part of a team. Nonetheless, you don’t have to sign your name anywhere to join a posse. You can select a night to go out dressed in similar attire, or it can be an experiment to something new your friends might enjoy doing every day—let it play organically, it’s fun. Here are the foreground to what you need to do to create your style posse:

1. Find your niche

Your posse is a team. Everyone must come to an agreement on what works for all of you. Otherwise, the group will fall flat. First, discover what you all like; do you all like wearing bow ties and vests ? Do you all prefer looking monochromatic and minimal ? Do you all consider yourself retro and vibrant ? There are endless possibilities to what could work for all of you. Men’s fashion is equally infinite as women. You have plenty of things to brainstorm. Browse through magazines like GQ, Details, and L’Essential Homme. Stumble upon men’s fashion blogs like Nickelson Wooster and Hypebeast.com. There’s no excuse on not trying.

2. Shop together

Once you have found your niche, it’s time to look for boutiques and flagship stores to shop at. One of the key components of style posses is unity. Shopping together will open a discovery of combination and flare that goes distinctly well with your group. Just because you are shopping in one or two stores, doesn’t mean what you all might wear is necessarily “posse approved”. If you three guys are wearing black and white, and one is wearing red and blue, it would give off the vibe of the black sheep in the clique. Remember, try on the clothes, look at each other, see if it works well, and keep shopping for variety.

3. Budgeting and communicating

Fashion is expensive and to keep up with current trends of today is challenging. Talk with your niche about how you can all budget yourselves. It is not very chic if someone is wearing an outfit worth $10,000 while everyone else is wearing outfits below $1,000. It does become apparent and dampers the clique by superiority. If you all can afford looking a specific style, then will unity, you can all look like a million bucks. If your posse is preppy and all American, but can’t afford Ralph Lauren, try the alternatives like J.Crew or Billy Reid. If your posse is edgy and modern, go for Y-3 or Uniqlo. There also loads of thrift stores in Manhattan and Brooklyn. Find alternatives to dress equally and eventually, you can build up your brand to a higher line.

Be creative, edgy, authentic, elaborate. Don’t take it too seriously. There is no competition to style posses. Have fun with it, let it become it’s own staple, and ride with it for a night or two. Or a week or month. Work with three friends or six. Eight or Ten. Or even just your one best friends. Mix it up and let a few girls join in your posse. Who says your posse has to be the same age ? Bring in some older and younger friends. Be different. It’s all you can be in this world.

-Richard Guerroué